It has been quite some time since I have written here and indeed a long time since I have written anything at all. I have decided, with the approval of Victoria, to return to BCUK. Rememberance of the lovely sense of community here draws me back. On this site one does not feel they are casting the words of their heart to the wind.

I did begin a blog directly after leaving BCUK and this may be found at http://crbgray.blogspot.com Reading the sparse entries there might catch you up a bit, but I shall attempt to bring you up to date here and now.

This year my relationship to Victoria has been extremely tumultuous. After the situation that occurred with Michael in January I felt obligated, for the sake of all, to take my stand and leave the household with the Michael in tow. Since that time Victoria and I have gradually found our way back to one another by the strength of the love we now continue to share.

On the 30th of May Victoria gave birth to a healthy baby boy whom Michael and Victoria agreed to name Michael Ryan Harrison. He was a rather large baby weighing in at over 9 pounds. Prior to the birth, Victoria and her council had come to an agreement with Michael and his solicitor that Michael shall be granted sole custody of their son and such continues to stand at present.

Open lines of communication have been kept with Michael, who is now living in a flat of his own in Norwich with his aunt and his son. I have visited him on numerous occasions and, as we anticipated, he is radiant in the role of father. I'm quite proud of him. He is currently still employed by Victoria, but is enjoying a rather generous paternity leave with pay.

Michael will not be staying in the UK, but rather leaving for Miami the end of September. He has accepted a postion with a rather prestigious organisation there and it is my understanding he will take on his new post in October.

Victoria will contribute financially to young Michael's upbringing but feels that perhaps, for the time, it is wise not to put the child through any strict visitation schedule at such a young age. Naturally Michael and the baby are welcome in this house at any time. Victoria and I will likely take on the role of 'family' to the baby without specific titles. As time goes on the parents will make decisions with regard to how enlightened Master Michael will be.

Here at home, Victoria and I have taken life one day at a time, making the most of quiet moments and avoiding stress as much as possible. For the better part of our reunion it had been decided that we would leave the D/s lifestyle to the past. Victoria admits to having been too freely persuaded in the situation that transpired in January, and thus She believed it best to define our 'new' lives by wholly vanilla standards.

This has been difficult in the extreme. I have yearned to serve Her in the old familiar ways that once pleased Her, and She longed to take the lead once more and continue my refinement.

In the past month the two of us have finally relinquished this quest to be untrue to the nature of who we each are. We have adjusted the degree of my service and Her dominance, but not tremendously so. I shall continue to be HM here (thus Severin, the lovely chap who was to take on the role has been informed his services will not be required) and Victoria will continue to be the Lady of the Manor. The rejuvination of our D/s lifestyle has been like a warm homecoming for me. It is much as it was and my heart is completely delighted.

One of the ways in which the dynamic between us has changed has to do with our former views on the institution of marriage. Some months ago (March 29th, to be precise) we mutually decided we should like to be married. The ceremony has been set for the beginning of September. We do hold a rather unconventional view toward our upcoming union, in that we see it as Her taking legal possession of me in Her vows, and I taking vows of submission and servitude. We do not see marriage as a sign of equality per se, but more a sign of commitment that well suits both of our journeys in life. Hers to rule, and mine to serve.

That said, I would like to say how very pleased I am to return to blogging here. I am most sorry for my absence and I shall endeavor to be more faithful in posting and reading my friend's posts as well.

Respectfully,
Ryan