Unto Her Will

I have only just returned from Norwich and visiting 'Big Michael' , Ms Grace, and 'Little Michael'.  

'Big Michael' has given me special permission to post a picture of his son (below)  The little lad slept almost the entire time I was there so I didn't get an eskimo kiss today.  It seems that our wee boy is faring much better on the new formula and all at the Harrison abode are getting their rest once more.

Ryan

A simple breakfast of crumpets and tea was left at my bedside this morning. To the moment, I still am not sure whom my culinary benefactor has been. There are hints and were I to venture a guess I would suppose it to be Fiona. They are as I like, lightly toasted and topped with a bit of apricot jam. How very kind!

My bedroom window is dotted with rain, yet again. Where is our summer? I have indeed been conditioned not to moan, but dear heavens we've not even had the fans on yet this year. It is July. I recall that the summer of 2006 (in particular July) was sweltering and records were set by the heat. I would not plead with the Goddess for a repeat, but a bit more sun and warmth would be greatly appreciated.

After a phone chat with a very exhausted Michael yesterday we have learned that 'Mikey' has been suffering with colic. He has been attended to and the Doctor has made adjustments to his formula. Michael stated that they feel this should help alleviate the stomach cramping. Ms Grace (Michael's Aunt) has also been administering 'peppermint water' which she believes may also be of assistance. It is hoped that these solutions will allow the adults, as well as the infant, of the Harrison residence a bit of kip.

I imagine that Michael will have many opportunities to learn how taxing childrearing can be. It is still new to him and he is wearing it well so far. Bringing up a child is not something I would like to take on alone. He is quite brave to do so and I am proud of him for it.

Apart from these few scraps of news there is nothing to report. The house is ever so quiet without Michael here. I suppose I am adjusting, but there are many moments throughout the day when I think of him and the way life reverberated with vivaciousness when he was with us. One never knew what to expect. He was often so unpredictable and that alone kept me on my toes. I do miss him, often more than I would like to admit.

To ease my withdrawal I visit him in Norwich. I feel a mixture of emotions when I do. I am happy he is doing well, but then a bit hurt not to be needed as I was when he lived with us. I freely admit that tears will flow when he leaves for Miami in September. He promises that we will always have contact and I suppose because of young Michael Ryan, we will. We usually hug goodbye and I can feel my throat tighten sometimes when we do.

Life does go on though. Sometimes the 'end of an era' is hard to accept, but we must. All of us have our purpose in life... our separate paths that cross and then drift off in other directions. This is part of the nature of human existance.

Be well, my Friends. May you each delight in your day.

Ryan

It has been quite some time since I have written here and indeed a long time since I have written anything at all. I have decided, with the approval of Victoria, to return to BCUK. Rememberance of the lovely sense of community here draws me back. On this site one does not feel they are casting the words of their heart to the wind.

I did begin a blog directly after leaving BCUK and this may be found at http://crbgray.blogspot.com Reading the sparse entries there might catch you up a bit, but I shall attempt to bring you up to date here and now.

This year my relationship to Victoria has been extremely tumultuous. After the situation that occurred with Michael in January I felt obligated, for the sake of all, to take my stand and leave the household with the Michael in tow. Since that time Victoria and I have gradually found our way back to one another by the strength of the love we now continue to share.

On the 30th of May Victoria gave birth to a healthy baby boy whom Michael and Victoria agreed to name Michael Ryan Harrison. He was a rather large baby weighing in at over 9 pounds. Prior to the birth, Victoria and her council had come to an agreement with Michael and his solicitor that Michael shall be granted sole custody of their son and such continues to stand at present.

Open lines of communication have been kept with Michael, who is now living in a flat of his own in Norwich with his aunt and his son. I have visited him on numerous occasions and, as we anticipated, he is radiant in the role of father. I'm quite proud of him. He is currently still employed by Victoria, but is enjoying a rather generous paternity leave with pay.

Michael will not be staying in the UK, but rather leaving for Miami the end of September. He has accepted a postion with a rather prestigious organisation there and it is my understanding he will take on his new post in October.

Victoria will contribute financially to young Michael's upbringing but feels that perhaps, for the time, it is wise not to put the child through any strict visitation schedule at such a young age. Naturally Michael and the baby are welcome in this house at any time. Victoria and I will likely take on the role of 'family' to the baby without specific titles. As time goes on the parents will make decisions with regard to how enlightened Master Michael will be.

Here at home, Victoria and I have taken life one day at a time, making the most of quiet moments and avoiding stress as much as possible. For the better part of our reunion it had been decided that we would leave the D/s lifestyle to the past. Victoria admits to having been too freely persuaded in the situation that transpired in January, and thus She believed it best to define our 'new' lives by wholly vanilla standards.

This has been difficult in the extreme. I have yearned to serve Her in the old familiar ways that once pleased Her, and She longed to take the lead once more and continue my refinement.

In the past month the two of us have finally relinquished this quest to be untrue to the nature of who we each are. We have adjusted the degree of my service and Her dominance, but not tremendously so. I shall continue to be HM here (thus Severin, the lovely chap who was to take on the role has been informed his services will not be required) and Victoria will continue to be the Lady of the Manor. The rejuvination of our D/s lifestyle has been like a warm homecoming for me. It is much as it was and my heart is completely delighted.

One of the ways in which the dynamic between us has changed has to do with our former views on the institution of marriage. Some months ago (March 29th, to be precise) we mutually decided we should like to be married. The ceremony has been set for the beginning of September. We do hold a rather unconventional view toward our upcoming union, in that we see it as Her taking legal possession of me in Her vows, and I taking vows of submission and servitude. We do not see marriage as a sign of equality per se, but more a sign of commitment that well suits both of our journeys in life. Hers to rule, and mine to serve.

That said, I would like to say how very pleased I am to return to blogging here. I am most sorry for my absence and I shall endeavor to be more faithful in posting and reading my friend's posts as well.

Respectfully,
Ryan