Unto Her Will

i just wanted to say that ryan is in the hospital. MsV said he was talkin to Her last night and he just collapsed. ive been away so i came rushin back. they dont know whats wrong yet so theyre gonna be runnin some tests. if its ok with him ill let all you blog friends know when we find out nething.

love
mikey

I regret to say that the collaring ceremony scheduled for this weekend has been postponed due to unforeseen circumstances.

I also offer my apologies for the lack of attention to my blog and to my communication with other individuals I regularly correspondence with. There have been many rearranging duties to attend to.

I shall not leaven my blog with the drama of it all but simply state that for the time there is a bit of upheaval and my attentions are focused on pressing out the difficulties.

Thank you for your kind patience. It is greatly appreciated at this time.

Ryan

I shall begin my post by saying that all is well with Michael.  He made good use of his day away to reflect and consider the finer points of his service.  There were a few issues of concern and he returned home with a request for adjustment which is now under review.  I am well aware of the request and am certain Ms will grant it. 

I suppose anyone facing a major crossroads in their life should always think the matter through, even after coming to a decision.  Until the moment of commitment is upon us it does no harm to turn the matter over in our minds until it has been examined from every angle.  Naturally this is encouraged by Mistress, as I believe I openly stated in a previous post.  Only a thoughtless boy would enter into a union he is not prepared to see through.  Ms and I are both well impressed that he is taking it all as seriously as he should.

The boy and I had a deep and meaningful after tea.  We discussed various things regarding submission and our beliefs with regard to the rightness of males being governed by a firm but loving Female Dominant.  I know I have oft complained about his inquisitiveness but it is a good quality overall.  He is eager to learn, and willing to listen attentively to get to the core of an issue. 

He shared with me a recent experience he had  joining in a vanilla 'friends' chatroom and some of the intolerance he experienced there.  I did advise that he perhaps gives too much of himself away.  His openess needs to be more gauged if he does not wish to draw attention.   The shock and revulsion from those in the vanilla world is to be expected, as the life we lead is far from mainstream, but I suppose he is still most affected by the anti-American sentiments. 

The American humour is not of the same flavour as ours and perhaps it is the strong patriotic atmosphere in which American children are brought up that can foster a barrier to their being capable, as adults, of taking a ribbing about their own country.   I have explained to Michael that what people here say is probably not personally against him or likely not even truly anti-American as much as anti-the current administration in the United States.

Michael is the sort to take things to heart anyway.  He feels that the antipathy of the British media and of a percentage of the public toward his country is most unfair.  He states that he considers many of those making the comments to be quite ignorant and hateful.  I asked him if he also noted that most European nations do seem to enjoy taking the mickey out of each other and why should the colonies be exempt from this often amusing sport.  I admit to using the 'c' word to see if it ruffled the feathers.  It did just a bit.  All the same he knows I am having a bit of fun with him and that part of the conversation ended in laughter.  He knows for a fact that I quite like the 'new world'.

I am considering another D/s topic to address in a post here.  The last serious essay  was regarding Pro vs Lifestyle Submission and that was written a fair while ago. 
 
Amongst the possible selections are:

Female Supremacy (and why we practice it here)
The Deeper Joys of Male Submission
Working Relationships between Same Household Submissives
Subspace and Safety
The Draw of Humiliation (I should be very capable of addressing this topic)
Some of the Tools in our Shed  (implements used by Mistress Victoria)
Various excerpts from my Boy Diaries (circa 2000-2007)

If there is a preference, dear readers, please make it known to me.

Good Day to All,
Ryan

The morning was moving along well enough until approximately an hour ago when Michael came into the house from the flat.   I had allowed him to sleep in per MsV's instruction.  She felt he has been overwhelmed with the preparations for beta and likely needed a bit more rest.

I knew from the moment he walked into the kitchen that he was either unwell or unsettled emotionally.  In the end I found it to be the latter.  He has a rather obvious way about him, and those who know him well can not miss the signs.  He stated he came to get his running kit and darted off up the stairs to his room.  He was obviously upset, but I still am not sure what the exact cause is.  That is not to say there are no suppositions swimming round in my head. 

Naturally, I am concerned.   When I asked what the matter was he would only say that he wishes to be alone today to think. 

"But what of your appointments this afternoon?"
"Cancel them please."

He betrays himself choking on those last words.

I followed him until he walked out the door, standing nearby as he dressed and laced up his trainers.  Difficult as it was I tried very hard not to press.  When he rose I moved closer and attempted to embrace him.  A tear down the cheek and then the shake of his head.  No, he would not have it. 
 
I feel I must respect his need for solitude, but as a natural pessimist I am quite worried for him, and selfishly for myself as well.  The boy is the delight of my heart.  His differences and his cheek are seasoning for my soul,  his optimism offsets my pessimism and his joy balances my frequent melancholy.  To simply say that I love him would be a gross understatement.

He has changed my life.  I have learnt so much from him, though he would not believe it so. 

The worrier in me is feeling a bit frantic.  We are less than three weeks from his commitment ceremony and little flags are going up in my mind.   What else could he have to 'think' about'?

I can only assume that perhaps someone has spoken to him and upset him.  He was allotted an hour online this morning to attend to business.  Again I hope this is simply my fear rearing its head and not something concrete.  Perhaps it is finally sinking in about Ms Grace leaving?  I do not know.

I shall speak to him when he returns.  He has his mobile and has promised me that he is 'okay'.  I'm not sure how I should take that.  He did not seem the least bit okay when he left.  I am worried and I feel very pained to know that he is struggling with something and will not let me help ease the burden. 

I must get to my tasks but he is on my mind.  Dear, Michael boy, please be safe.

Ryan

This clip features instruments I am interested in (I play flute, but not cello) and a genre of music I appreciate (jazz) but with a Michaelish twist (the beatboxing). What do you think?

Autumn is a lovely time of year.  There is the first cold snap in the air.  The leaves change then fall. I much prefer it to what follows as I have never been fond of winter.

The heating throughout the house and in the flat has been lit today.  It is the first instance, since Spring, that it's been required.

The higher tog duvets have been put on the beds and the smaller quilts and afghans lay in readiness across the chairs and sofas.

Seasoned and non-seasoned firewood is in abundance and a fresh stock of Grand and Premier Cru has arrived so that we may keep ourselves and our guests well supplied this festive season.

Ms enjoys the scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and hazelnut at this time of year so there are several pots simmering with that particular richness. All the seasonal decorations, centrepieces, and arrangements are in their proper setting.

And with that I breathe a temporary sigh of relief.

I haven't long to write today. I was only mindful of the moment.  Something stirred within me and I felt compelled to sit in stillness for a short time.  Life is fleeting, after all.  Ms always reminds us to look at life from every angle.  To reflect and contemplate, and to be thoughtful of our place in life, and our surroundings.

As I write the rain is falling softly and I am delighted to be warm indoors.  Have a peaceful Autumn day.

Ryan

There has been very little time, of late, to be online.

Thursday and Friday were spent preparing the house for the celebrations the end of the month. Also the intensive shopping spree in which all the difficult to find items were tediously and meticulously procured.

The gown Michael is to wear for the collaring ceremony will have to be let out a bit as he is slightly thicker in build than am I.

I needn't tell you, the fitting went over like a lead balloon, especially as Michael was unaware of the attire and the fact that the traditional gown, worn by myself at my collaring as well as by several previous boys at their ceremonies, is in fact a lovely shade of crimson pink.

The mouth dropped open, the brow furrowed, and there was an 'uh uh, no way' uttered. Ms only smiled and said if he wished to become beta he would not only wear it, but wear it with gratitude and honour. He agreed, but with great reluctance.

The caterers have been round a second time as the first choice Ms had made for the evening's cuisine has proven impossible to accomodate. It does seem odd. I might have thought She would choose to use a different caterer but the Owner is a longtime friend and thus a new menu was chosen.

Naturally Michael takes an oath to Ms Victoria in the ceremony and a secondary oath to myself, but Ms has decided to require him to display a few of his talents and also to write and memorise a piece, prose or poem, to recite.

He had requested that the talent be running, which is laughable as one could hardly be expected to accomplish such a thing in the ballroom before an audience, but Ms has stated that he will sing something of Her choosing. She will decide this weekend and after it is passed on to him, he and I will work on it diligently until the day arrives.

The invitations were sent out the beginning of last week and already we have nearly complete assurance via RSVP that all invited shall attend.

Despite his distaste at the mandatory apparel, Michael is getting quite excited as the day draws nearer. He is ready to receive the marks that will be given him; a tattooed emblem set in the interior of his lower lip, and a strike brand of Ms Victoria's personal seal on his inner right thigh. He seems to look forward to these rituals most which I suppose is not surprising.

He has a bit of nervousness surrounding the ceremony itself and truly this is not without cause. Many of the guests are incredibly stern with regard to Female Superiority and would not be amused by unorthodox behaviour in a male. Michael's natural tendency to 'cheek' would be seen as uncouth and improper; very unbecoming a collared submissive.

Also it may be noted that not all of the Dominants share Ms Victoria's passion for youth. Many of the submissives, in fact most, will be over the age of 40.

This ceremony is a solomn act that should be approached with great humility and gratitude by the boy being accepted. He knows he must be on his very best behaviour so as not to shame his Mistress. Both Damon and myself have had a hand in grooming the boy for his special day.

Very exciting days to come, indeed.

It is also worth mentioning here that Michael's aunt, Ms Grace, has decided to take up residence in Miami again. She states that she misses her friends and her church activities.

Naturally Ms Victoria understands, and though we will all miss her daily presence, her fine 'soul food' and baking, as well as her gift for storytelling, we will bid her a very fond farewell. Michael is taking it well at present but will likely need comforting when Ms Grace does take her leave.

Ryan