Unto Her Will

This is an issue that continually comes back to anyone who has spent any amount of  time in a chatroom.  For all the wonderful times one might have in 'the room' there are many pitfalls.

Possibly because of the 'faceless' and 'traceless'  attributes of the internet medium, certain persons are inclined to leave the consideration and common decency they might normally employ in a face to face setting at the  chatroom door.  The anonymity of the online scene makes a 'hit and hide' attack extremely easy to accomplish with little or no consequences to the instigator. 

It can be quite tasteless, as well as cruel.   Attacks of this nature are the work of cowards and crass individuals who have nothing better to do with their time; They are the foray of those that feast on the pain and misery of others.  We must hold this in the forefront of our minds to keep our perspective. 

Perhaps what is forgotten is that we are all still real people, with real lives.  We often know so little about those we interact with online.  It is easy  to overlook the fact that behind each screen name there is a face, a thinking mind, and a living soul that does register feelings.

I myself usually tend to discount so much of the tactics and drama of online interaction.  Today that is a bit more difficult to do.

Many of my readers will have no idea of the situation to which I refer now.  I will address it with dignity.   If this does not concern you, please feel free to disregard the remainder of my posting. 

I will simply state:

a.  Ms Victoria is not the sort of person that spends time in chatrooms.
b.  She is certainly not the sort to discuss private issues in a public setting. 
c.  She was not in a chatroom last night at 2am behaving in an unseemly manner.
d.  Michael, our boy in training, is not Ms Victoria's collared beta submissive.
e.  There are currently no restrictions on Michael's IMs.
 f.  Ms Sognodreams, Ms Kate and Ms Gabrielle have done nothing improper.
g.  Michael is in good standing in our household.  He is loved and well trusted.

If there are any questions regarding what was said by someone posing as MsV using the name MzVeivetrain (not MzVelvetRain) in the RT Dominant Women chatroom I would appreciate them being sent directly to me.  This entire scenario has deeply upset Ms Victoria, especially as Celestia's name was used in the farce.

Ryan         

I suppose that is another way of saying time waits for no man. Despite triumph or tragedy the hands of time still make their way around the clockface. We still breath, have need of sustenance and rest, and must move forward.

I feel that all in our household are in the very beginning stages of the healing process. I was quite pleased a few days ago to have gotten a small giggle out of Mistress, even if it did come at my mother's expense.

I haven't shaved in a few days. Mistress stated it would please Her if I let my face grow long (goo goo g'joob and all). I must say it takes me by surprise anytime my hand goes to my face for whatever reason. I shall have to abide the roughness until it has grown a bit more.

As I type this the boy, with his hands deep in dishwater, asks, "Why does my nose itch every time I get my hands in the water?"

He is, as always, full of questions that I do not have a ready answer for. I look his way, give a knowing smile, then get back to my blog. He is such a dear boy.

In this time of sadness, Michael has been extremely helpful, and good. He took on my chores along with the bulk of Mistress' business obligations the first two weeks afterward in order that She and I might have time alone. He listened when I needed to talk and he cried alongside me in our moments alone whilst MsV slept.

He has been more than a brother to me and I love him for it.

He is coming into his own, as I knew he would. I'm very proud of him. I did tell him yesterday that he has come along a bit quicker than I did when I was in training. My pride often got in the way of my service. Michael does not seem to struggle with the sort of pride I did. He is humble, but sometimes a wee bit over-sensitive. He is also fiercely protective of those he loves.

I did not begin this blog with the intention of singing my brother's praises, but as I watch him scrub the lasagna cassarole dish at this particular moment in time I am mindful of his worth and our need of his happy, relentless joy.

Ryan

This is my personal rating.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.8
Mind:	7.3
Body:	8.8
Spirit:	8.3
Friends/Family:	6.2
Love:	7.7
Finance:	9.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I'm not completely certain why the family and friends section is so low, apart from the fact that I am an only child, I have only two grandparents living, and have only 4 truly close friends. I've always felt my family were quite good, incredibly loving and supportive. I was spoilt as a boy and perhaps still am a bit by my parents. But this is the result of the test nonetheless.

Ryan

I apologise for my absence of the past several weeks.  As I see Michael has posted to his friends on my blog, we have had a very heartbreaking experience recently.

It is with deep sadness that I tell you...  our little girl died in the womb sometime previous to July 5th, and never took a breath in this life.   

On July 5th we were referred to the early pregnancy assessment unit for a scan due to the midwife's and then the doctor's inability to hear a heartbeat.  The scan confirmed our very worst fears, that Celestia had died in utero.  MsV opted to be induced on Friday, July 6th.  Celestia came into the world, stillborn, at 1:27pm weighing 5lbs 8ozs.

Ms was too distraught and did not wish to see/hold her.  Michael and I were taken to a private room and left alone to be with Celestia, who had been dressed in what would have been her christening gown.  There were a few words said.  How lovely her lips, how soft her dark hair was and how peaceful she seemed.  This brought tears as I wished more than anything she would cry loudly and create a right fuss rather than be utterly silent.  Michael and I both held her... and cried openly, without apology.  She was, and ever shall be, my beautiful little angel.

I will not press on with this post.  It is still early days and I've not had a chance to release my deepest emotions fully.  They well up and threaten to pour over into every aspect of my life, but I must be strong for Mistress, who is deeply heartbroken and inconsolable.

I am sorry that I will have to delay my topical postings.  I simply haven't the heart for it all at present. I thank my friends for their condolences and others also for sharing their similar experiences and providing a little light for the path in these dark days.  I deeply appreciate your sympathy/empathy.

Ryan