Per Ms Victoria's instruction I shall begin a new phase here on my web log. She wishes me to address issues of interest to other submissives; to share what I have learnt over the past seven years with those who may be striving to find answers.
I shall begin with a comparison between what it is to visit a Professional Dominatrix verses what it means to live in service to a Lifestyle Dominant Woman.
I have lived seven years in a FLR (Female Led Relationship). I entered Ms Victoria's household in May 2000 under a training contract and then after training graduated to become Her gamma submissive. (She already had an alpha and a beta upon my enrollment in training) As the years have past there have been draumatic changes (too intricate and detailed to explain it all in this entry) and today I am Her alpha submissive. Furthermore, we are expecting a child in July. I could not be more content and joyful in my circumstance.
I also must confess that I personally have not had the experience of sessioning with a Professional Dominatrix. So what follows is based on my personal knowledge as well as the information I have gleaned from other lifestyle submissives who have frequented Pro Dommes in the past.
My understanding is that a meeting is arranged, important issues are discussed regarding the arrangement (eg: limitations, tribute, what the boy desires and whether or not the Domme is willing to facilitate his fantasies), and ultimately a scene is played out between the two of them. How often they meet varies.
In my humble opinion the two settings are completely different. I can not stress this enough. The dynamics involved are nearly opposite when compared.
In sessioning with a Pro Domme, one is paying for a service instead of being a servant. There is little if any true relationship between the Domme and Her client other than a professional one, as it is afterall, a business arrangement.
Like it or not, the boy is in the position of ultimate authority as he initiates the sessions. He wants something and expects Her to provide it. Essentially he has paid tribute for a service to have his needs met. Apart from a return customer, I cannot imaging that he is valued as a true sub would be. In my opinion this sort of arrangement can not compare to the joys of true service. It is a transaction.
In living and serving a Lifestyle Dominant Woman the boy goes through a process of learning how to earnestly give of himself; he begins the journey of becoming Her beloved and trusted servant. The Dominant is in full control. She guides and directs and the boy obeys. There is potential for a very deep interaction between the Mistress and Her boy that may span years, and perhaps a lifetime if the boy is fortunate to have found favour with a Compatible Dominant.
I see Lifestyle D/s as far more personal and indepth. You are living your daily life, not just a few hours, in service; day-by-day and moment-by-moment channelling your energies into pleasing Her.
Of course conditions must be right. Care must be taken both on the part of the Dominant and the submissive to insure that the play stays within the boundaries of the SSC ethos. A trust must be established and over time strengthened. I will attempt to outline in detail the principle responsibilities of Dominant and Submissive in a later posting.
I am sure moving into a lifestyle relationship would be quite an adjustment for a boy who is accustom to using the services provided by a Professional Dominatrix. He will have to relinquish the control he is accustom to having with the Pro Domme and endeavor to delve deeper, to present himself to the Lifestyle Dominant as a pure and willing vessel. He will have to learn everything from Her intonations to Her preferences.
But the rewards... indeed the rewards are great for both parties. In my own case, words can not adequately describe the joy I have found in serving Ms Victoria. I have no doubt that this is where I am meant to be and shall remain for as long as She is pleased to possess me.
I hope that perhaps this may be of help. If there are any questions I would be happy to entertain them via comments here or if privacy is desired, via the blog site's personal message system.
Respectfully,
Ryan
2007-06-20 @ 08:21