I'm taking a short break from some DIY projects at the moment.  I have some painting and a bit of garden border mending yet to tend to.  Everyone needs a few moments between tasks though, right?

Last evening Mistress, Ms Grace, Fiona (our housekeeper), Michael and myself sat down to a lovely meal put together by   ::drum roll::   Michael! 

I must say that it was extremely good. 

Michael came to us with limited knowledge in the cooking department, but in some cuisines his abilities do indeed shine through.  He can prepare a basic breakfast, boil an egg, make toast, cut vegetables, and bake peanut butter cookies, which he rolls into little balls then mashes with the fork tines  to make criss crosses before baking. 

He is also extremely good at preparing  Mexican cuisine and this is what we were treated to last evening.

I have to admit that I was not introduced to Mexican food as a child, and in fact I don't think I ever tasted guacamole until  perhaps two years ago.   I do find that the spices can be a bit strong in the tamales and enchiladas, but the taste is excellent. 

We had a starter of nachos with cheese, caramelised onions, and jalapeno pepper slices.  The others present, none of whom were vegetarians, had spiced chicken on their nachos whereas I did not. 

Next something he called flautas were served.  These were tortillas with ingredients rolled up in them that were deep fried.  Also offered were salsa, soured cream, guacamole and cheese sauces  to dip these into. 
 

The main course was comprised of Enchiladas, tamales, chile rellano, guacamole tostadas, tacos with salad, Mexican rice and beans.   How delicious and how filling it all was.  Michael received rave reviews from all present and seemed to be very touched to have the praise lavished on him.  He did very well and I'm proud of him.

I think these family evenings do help to bond us together. 

The margaritas didn't hurt either, although I think Michael made them a bit too strong for his Aunt Grace, who is typically a 'tee-totaller', never partaking of drink.   Mistress could only have virgin margaritas, but did comment that they were quite delicious.  Poor Ms Grace could hardly stand from the table after four margaritas.  Michael had to carry her to bed, Ms Grace scolding him all the way about having gotten her drunk.  "But Auntie, I didn't make you drink them."  Lol, he sounded so apologetic.

We were all too full to have any pudding.  Michael mentioned "fried ice cream" but all any of us could manage was a coffee an hour after the meal.  Michael indulged in a cup of cocoa instead.

That evening in bed I was to discover the effect spicey Mexican food has on both Michael and myself.  We laid there for at least a half hour listening to our digestive systems rumble.  What a laugh that was.  We were drunk, having put down two six packs of Corona beer as well as the margaritas.

He started a pillow fight and I reminded him of the last one during which we ruptured a goose down pillow and Ms forced him to pick up each feather individually with a pair of tweezers the following morning.  He was too pissed to care and we beat the devil out of each other which ultimately led to other recreation. 

Fortunately there were no pillow casualties.

Ryan

Another bright and beautiful Sunday has arrived.  The weather has been quite out of character in the past month with hardly any rain at all.  Where have the 'April showers' gone?  In fact I cannot remember the last time we had anything heavier than a light mist to fall.  Some mornings may begin a bit hazy but as the day wears on the sun comes forth in all it's brilliance.  It has been necessary to water the gardens everyday.

I wish to update you on some of the recent happenings here.

My father and I have begun to reach an understanding.  Ms suggested to him that perhaps She should indeed like to have a ceremony of sorts in which the two of us make a lasting commitment to one another although She has no desire to marry.

Someone suggested that rings might be exchanged and at first this seemed to both MsV and myself a bit of a farce.  After much discussion we came to the conclusion that if it was decided that we should go this route, the rings would mean what we wish them to mean.  The one from myself to Her would represent reaffirming my commitment to serve Her faithfully with all that I am, to honour and obey Her for as long as She sees fit to retain me.  The ring from Her to myself would represent Her ownership, an outward sign of proclaimation to all others that I have given myself completely to Her, I am Her possession and that She is, and ever will be, the Woman I worship and adore.  

I have spoken with my mother quite a bit over the past two weeks and she has attempted to reason with Father.  In speaking with him I can see that her work has not been in vain.  In fairness, he is trying very hard to be accepting and allow me to be who I am, and I appreciate that.  He seems to be happy about a commitment ceremony but still does not understand why we will not marry, 'if only for Celestia's sake'.

The week just past had a very difficult start.  As I had written in my 'Cracking The Whip' entry, Ms recently gave over much of the responsibility of training Michael to myself.  There were quite specific guidelines and the reasons and means were explained to both of us from the start.  I admit to being very uncomfortable in even a slightly dominating position.  Ms recommended that I set a precedent by being very firm and strong with Michael from the onset.  I did as She suggested.  He rebelled, not with direct force, but rather subtly in a passive way.  He did as I instructed with regard to the taxing work he was assigned but refused to take his allotted breaks.  This naturally made him very tired and overheated.  Over the course of the morning he became sick but refused my ministrations of a cool cloth or a sip of water.  When it came time for the noon and evening meals he would not eat at all the first day.  I ate the meals I had prepared for both of us alone while he sat across the table and watched me.

The entire day he did not request permission to speak.  When asked a question he would answer with as few words as possible.  It was very obvious that he was either angry or hurt or both.  This was not what I wished to cultivate in him.  I had hoped to teach him discipline and the value of hard work, not to garner his passive/agressive expressed resentment. 

If you were to know how close we have become you would understand why this was quite hard for me.  We have only ever been as brothers.  My position as alpha male has been less a commanding position than a guiding and teaching one.  After the second day of his refusal to take breaks, his overworking himself, his turning down my offered meal to make his own sandwich, and his continued refusal to converse with me in anyway, my heart was heavy in my chest.  Surely he knew this was not what I had chosen.  I must obey Mistress' command and this he knows full well.

The evening of the second day, as I prepared to retire for the night, the knot in my throat rose and gave way to emotion.  I kept this to myself and hurriedly turned out the light hoping to hide my tears and find some respite in sleep.  Shortly thereafter Michael came into the bedroom from the lounge and signalled that he'd like to speak.  We were both able to express our feelings about the change of situation and this helped tremendously.

The third day we spent taking long walks and doing very little work.  I gave him permisson to speak freely nearly the entire day.  It was a lovely time.  All has come back to a more normal standard, although I am still in authority he does realise that I mean him no harm or insult.  He has agreed to be more obedient and do his utmost to meet his training requirements.

Today Michael and I have decided to do a bit of painting and decorating of our new quarters.  We visited an art gallery yesterday and purchased a few nice seascapes for the bathroom.  We both would like the bathroom to be pale blue so we shall drive off to procure some supplies.  Michael claims to be an 'expert' with a paintbrush.  He has petitioned to paint a mural in the bathroom and in the kitchen area.  Ms has agreed as long as it is tastefully done and 'vanilla' oriented.

Perhaps we will have a nice afternoon of play once the jobs are completed.

Ryan    

After a thorough discussion with Mistress this morning there have been some major changes in responsibility for me. 

From today forward I have been given nearly complete control of Michael.  Mistress has a great deal to concern Herself with of late and wishes to be relieved of some of Her burden from now until Celestia's arrival in July.  

Therefore the continuation of Michael's training is left primarily to me for the next several months, other than physical service to Mistress as required.

I am to do with him as I see fit.  My authority extends to any activity I feel would benefit the household, and further his training.  He will do whatever I wish him to from this time onward or face the consequences.  Punishments may be meted out by myself or Mistress as needed.  There will be no more allowances made for unacceptable behaviour.

I have not completed the list of changes that will be made. 

Michael has fallen considerably from our expectations for him recently, possibly as a result of  too much liberty in his schedule.  I personally feel he needs more responsibilities and a more regimented daily routine and I will see to that immediately.

Ryan

Mistress has decided that She should like a bit of 'space' from time to time and thus the reason for the creation of our new 'boys area' strategically located in the furtherest building from the main house.

She states that this idea came to Her in a moment when I was 'hovering' and Michael was... well, being himself - scratching, singing, burping, whistling, bumping into things, and making a wide range of silly inquiries.  

Naturally I questioned the wisdom of moving us away seeing, as Ms is approaching Her third trimester of pregnancy and anything could happen. But She held fast to the idea of separating Herself from Michael and myself physically in those moments when She requires a bit of solitude and, in Her own words, 'peace'.  We are still available to Her via intercom system and cctv installed in our new area.

Michael, ever enthusiastic, exclaimed, 'Wow, just like Big Brother!'

He amuses me.  ::cough::  I still think a bit of petticoat discipline might set him to rights.

After Michael returned from his driving lesson yesterday morning we collected Ms Grace who was being discharged from hospital.  She had been admitted mid-week for breathing difficulties which the doctors have now remedied.  After getting her settled in, the boy and I set off to see about a few appliances for our new area.  Off to Curry's we drove in the estate's blue van.  The boy kept a running commentary on everything from horses to banana peels.  As usual he had more questions than the average 5 year old.
 
Why do we use 230 voltage instead of 110 for everything electrical?
Why does a driving license cost so much?
Why do we name our crossings after animals?
Why don't we have screens on our windows or air conditioning in our houses?
Why aren't there more restaurants?
Why don't we have cardinals?  (He says its a bird)

He continued to rabbit on until we arrived at our destination. 

In the space of two and a half hours we purchased a washer, a tumble dryer, a toaster, a kettle, a small refrigerator and a blow dryer for Michael, whose hair puts one in mind of a Vileda mop these days.

On the way home Michael insisted that we stop in at PC World where he used some of his savings to purchase a new laptop.  This will of course have to be registered with Mistress.  He has personal funds that he may spend on various approved items for work and entertainment.

We arrived home and I spent most of the afternoon setting things up whilst Michael talked to his online friends.  Perhaps I should be more diligent in demanding his assistance but at times I feel I get much more properly accomplished on my own.  

Today I will continue to do a few things to improve our little flat.  I do not know how much time we will be spending here as that is for Mistress to decide.  I love Michael dearly but it can be a bit trying to be bottled up with him for hours on end.  

We shall see.

Ryan  
   

Easter Sunday afternoon my father and I had a terrible row.  Definitely the worst confrontation we have ever had.  All my life I have admired him and tried often to meet with his approval. 

I do not have the time this morning to write it all out and truthfully I do not know if I have the heart to.  Essentially the topic of marriage (mine to MsV) was brought out into the open.  He expects me to 'do the right thing' and propose to MsV.  I tried to explain that She would never accept but he would not listen.  He is consumed with fear that his granddaughter will be born illegitimate.  I finally told him that there is a point in this day and time when the propriety of his time is no longer law.  I need not tell you that saying so did not help matters.

I returned here to the estate five hours later than Mistress' set curfew.  I had rung up to let Her know of the difficulty and thus She has decided, in Her generosity, not to punish me.  She called me into chambers yesterday and discussed what could be done to possibly heal the rift between father and myself. 

She has invited him here this morning to confer with Her in private.  I can only assume that She will attempt to explain to him that indeed She is not interested in marrying me.  Just typing it here seems preposterous and makes me feel quite the upstart.  I do know my place and would never propose such a union between Mistress and myself.  As it stands we have a contract that is quite binding and is suited to the sort of relationship we share.

There are other matters that are troubling me but I simply do not possess the heart to face them full force at the moment.  I am deeply saddened.  It's the sort of sadness that makes one's heart feel very literally heavy in one's chest.  I am sure it will pass, but I can not seem to get away from it for now.

Ryan

Yesterday was a very beautiful spring day here in East Anglia.  For the vast majority of the day the sun shone forth radiantly and the air was mostly still.  Mistress decided that it might be nice to set us free on the lawns for work and play.  Knowing that the slight coolness of the air can be deceptive, creating the false idea that the sun's rays are not as harmful,  I dutifully applied sunblock to my entire body.  After finishing the task I handed the bottle over to my sub brother, Michael, and instructed him to liberally cover himself from head to toe.

We spent some time playing first.  Ms Victoria refreshed our memory on the signals given for running, jumping, climbing, and tumbling etc...  She has always enjoyed our performing back flips, cartwheels and round offs in a natural state.  It took me ages to learn these things.  Michael came to us very adept at back flips.
His cartwheels are another matter altogether.

I enjoyed a climb of two of my favourite trees.  Very exhilarating!

Then it was time for work.  I was assigned to exercise the horses whilst Michael tended the side gardens.  Ms had purchased an array of annual bedding plants as well as perennials and given Michael the plans to put them in the ground.  I'm pleased to say that he did the job very well.  He stayed with it and paid good attention to detail.  Everything was properly placed and well planted.  When checking his work I noticed he was a bit pinkish in tone.  I assumed that being from Miami in the US he would know when to reapply the sun cream so I did not instruct him further.

Brennan, my black stallion, was delighted to have a gallop through the fields.  If you have never had opportunity to ride bareback unclothed I must say that I highly recommend it.  It is one of the most natural feelings of freedom in the world.  When I take Bren down the path through the woods I often get the sense that I am the only man on earth, a bit like the biblical Adam.  It can be quite a mental adventure if you go with it.

When the day started to fade and the sun's light to diminish the air became a bit chilled and Ms called us in.  I came in, hastily showered, then set to preparing tea.  I lost track of Michael but later learned that he had been online unsupervised, having completely skipped over bathing himself.  When called to tea he was filthy and I quickly marched him up to the bath before Mistress could catch sight of him.  When he came out of the dimness of the hallway and into the bathing chamber I noticed that under the dirt from his garden work our dear boy had taken on the colour of a well boiled lobster.  Even his unmentionables were red and tender.

Getting to the facts it turns out he had never done as instructed and applied the sun cream.  I drew his bath and we struggled a bit finding a temperature that he could be comfortable with.  In the end tea had to be held and Ms and I assaulted two of Her aloe vera plants from the conservatory in order to coat our wayward lad in soothing natural ointment.  Rest assured he will be punished at a later date.  His flesh must heal first. 

There is never a dullness to life when Michael is about.

Today is a new day.  I shall be taking Easter midday meal with my parents thanks to Ms Victoria's gracious approval.  We shall have a nice evening meal here tonight at 7.  I will tend to Michael's skin this morning before leaving for Cambridgeshire.

Happy Easter to all!

Ryan   

A blogger friend has said that She feels it is good to be open about the D/s livestyle on a 'vanilla' website in order that the mainstream public might be more educated about 'kink'. 

I do concur but with certain limitations.  My life is pleasing to me but perhaps would be considered offensive to others.  My father being a prime example of someone who simply would not understand.

My family do not know of this blog.  I do not anticipate that they ever will. 

My mother has been informed regarding the very basics of the relationship I share with MsV and Michael, but my father knows absolutely nothing of it. 

He's very 'old school' and though I love him dearly, I must say he is quite intolerant of 'alternate lifestyles'.  Of late he has been lecturing me on the finer points of marriage and in a roundabout fashion alluding to his conviction that I should propose this institution to MsVictoria and set to it with reasonable haste prior to the baby's arrival.  I have yet to find a way to explain to him that MsV would not find that acceptable.

Mistress would not consider marriage as it implies an equality between us, and worse, in some antiquated circles perhaps even Her subserviance to myself as She is female and I am male.  This is highly unacceptable to the both of us.  As we are now, I am Her possession.  She owns me; I do not own Her.  To some this might seem severe, but to those that share our particular beliefs it will be as it is: completely normal.   Celestia will carry Ms Victoria's surname, not mine.  I will be allowed to parent Celestia but in a submissive capacity only.  There will be no question as to Who is the head of our family.

I have yet to find a means for explaining to my father that there will be no marriage and that his grandchild will not bear his name at any point in Her life.

He and I are very close and I do not wish to lose that aspect of our relationship so I'm a bit quandried at present as to what the resolution shall be.

Returning more specifically to topic, Mistress' preference for extreme privacy also puts the bit in my mouth (both proverbially and literally speaking).  As we are quite isolated from the outside world She has no interest in spreading the word or in helping the masses to be tolerant of our way of life.  She is not an 'evangelical' Domme or a zealot for the cause.  Within our home we are unto ourselves alone. 

Even within the D/s community some of the rituals She has established for Her slaves might be more than others would find palatable.  For instance many of these have been given titles paralleling religious rites.  (eg: communion, ascension, decension, atonement, etc...)  If one holds any religious convictions of the Christian nature one might find the acts Ms has put these labels to a form of blasphemy, or in the least a degradation of their faith.  

Whilst I will agree that openness and the lack of apology for the life we choose is good practice I still feel that discretion is often called for on the more outer fringe rituals and behaviours.

Ryan